So while flying to the US I encountered what I thought was a rude bloke, it could be me who is just too sensitive, or maybe with my attitude I am rude, here are my thoughts as I travelled.


A bloke sat to the right of me on the flight has a loud cough, obviously it is irritating him, I just wish he’d cover his mouth more with his hand or with a handkerchief when he is hacking up a lung, or maybe just get it over with and die already.

So that was written three hours ago, since then he has munched on M&Ms with his mouth open and constantly coughed spraying germs liberally into the air, there is the occasional half-hearted effort to cover the mouth, but most of his loud and violent explosions are done unmasked. I have headphones on and listening to loud music and I still don’t drown him out, time to just kill him with the foldaway table I think.

Okay, 40 minutes later and he has a spare chair as the bloke who was sat next to him has moved, maybe to jump off the plane rather than be next to him, and so he has placed his feet up on the seat, that’s not a crime, leaving the shoes on however is just plain awful. I am not being prissy but there is something deeply wrong with shoes on furniture, I dislike it, take your fracking shoes off. Especially if they are boots, this just compounds a social sin.

I wonder if this piece will be used against me in court…

And as we land he takes off his belt while we taxi and turns on his phone to check his messages, please slam on the brakes so he flies face first into the seat back…


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